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Week 3 Discussion - Question 2

Week 3 Discussion - Question 2

Q Review the Week 3 slidedecks before beginning the discussion. Part 3 specifically addresses the Thank you email. Week 3 Discussion #2 Sample Thank You Email to Critique.docx Download Week 3 Discussion #2 Sample Thank You Email to Critique.docx Read the sample thank you email and discuss with your group the following: • Compare how it is written to the guidelines on the slides • Where is it strong? • Where and how could it be improved? • Describe places where it could be more concise or specific. • Suggest ways to revise to address the issues you noted. • Use content from the textbook and slide decks to support your thinking • Use screenshots, Snip & Sketch images, or Google docs to have a more full and detailed discussion. UPDATED: Your initial post is due on the due date. Comments to others are due by the end of the week - Monday at 11:59pm. A substantive initial discussion board response is 250 words. Substantive comments to other students can be 100-150 words. Sample Thank you Email to Critique Situation: Yolanda Peoples is a finance student at the UM-Dearborn College of Business. She met Sheena Myles at a meet and greet session for Ford at the COB. During the presentation, Sheena talked about how Ford values and encourages diversity throughout the company, particularly with the use of affinity groups. After the presentation, Yolanda sought out Sheena and talked with her for about 5 minutes. During the conversation, Sheena was kind and encouraging, telling Yolanda that Ford is always looking for people like her, with a background in finance. Sheena gave her a business card at the end of their conversation, which was one of at least a dozen she had at the event that day. She did not offer to review Yolanda’s resume or to help her get an internship; she simply had a short, polite, professional conversation. Yolanda really wants to continue to connect with Sheena, because she thinks Sheena could be a good mentor. Yolanda sends the thank you email below. To: Sheena Myles From: Yolanda Peoples Subject: Thank you for talking to me the other day Date: September 10, 2019 Dear Ms. Myles, I am Yolanda Peoples, a BBA student at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, College of Business. I was so excited that you took the time after the Ford presentation to talk with me one-on-one about my career goals and your own career path, which is exactly the path I see myself following. Your insights about diversity at Ford, specifically about being a woman and a person of color, were illuminating. I hope we can keep in touch! I’ve attached my resume for your perusal. If you have any suggestions for how I can improve it, please let me know. Also, you can feel free to share it with anyone at Ford who is looking for a corporate finance intern who also has a strong background in coding. If there is any other advice you might have for me, please feel free to share that as well. I really appreciate your time and your kindness. Best wishes, Yolanda Yolanda Peoples UM-Dearborn College of Business ypeoples@umich.edu 555-555-1212

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Reading the sample email made me confused at the beginning because it somewhere diverts from the guidelines mentioned in the slides. While it is formally structured, it needs some revisions to claim it as a professional email. The strong part is that it follows the basic principles of writing the email but lacks profoundly when the word choices are concerned. The subject line needs to be enhanced like “Communication after Ford Presentation”. The sentences like “I hope we can keep in touch” will be more formal in tone if the sentence can be edited well such as “I thought that my association with you will be impactful in future”.